Saturday, May 21, 2011
Friday, March 19, 2010
Long Distance Relationship - MAGNIFIED
There are at least two ways to view a long distance relationship.
The first one is, to view it as a way to see or to prove how strong the relationship is. People of this school believe that through a chapter of long distance relationship, the solidity of the relationship will surface. If the relationship breaks apart during the process (more to 'process' later), then it may be interpreted as not standing the test of time. If the relationship is sustained for a long period, the relationship may be seen as successful and as a 'true thing'
The second school which has, according to my knowledge, far less followers, are people who think that a relationship that is strong, in the first place would not let a long distance relationship happen. Reason is, that if the relationship is a strong and serious one, why would one let other matters which led to the long distance relationship, precede in the first place? Especially romantics think, that nothing should come in the way of being physically together at one geographical location.
The above mentioned are extremes. However if we take a look at our own experiences with LDR (Long Distance Relationships), as well as other people's experiences, we will see that more often than less, one of the two above reasons are being used in arguments. These arguments can be anything from controlled calm discussions regarding the 'next steps', up to heated debates about the possibly upcoming LDR.
I cannot advocate for solely one of the above approaches. The reason is, because different people have different principles and expectations of relationship in general. There actually are peoples or couples who can endure the toll that an LDR takes on the relationship. Or even better said, there are couples in an LDR, who are not negatively impacted by the LDR. While for others this may seem totally unreasonable and beyond social conventions, for some it is as good as the close-proximity relation. These people live their lives independently in different locations, while maintaining communication from heart-to-heart or maybe even on a telepathic level. On the other hand, there are people who cannot bear the thought of even parting for one week. For these people, anxiety takes over, loneliness, as soon as the partner gets to far away. Physical apartness here almost equals (involuntarily) emotional distance.
What I can say for sure is, that a Long Distance Relationship, the prospect of, and even discussion about, reveals cubicmeters of the material of a relationship. Or differently put, it reveals important characters of each person in the relationship. Different than when analysing an indivual's character, a discussion about Long Distance Relationships exposes both sides in relation to each other. It becomes apparent how much each partner endures and can live solitary. In how far the two people are emotionally dependent on another. What each expects from the other partner - expectation in regards to sacrificing for the sake of togetherness.
Back to the earlier mentioned point on 'process'. If there is a mention or thought of an LDR being a 'process', I believe it is a very good start altogether. Being regarded as 'process', indicates that the LDR is working/being driven towards the goal, which unanimously would be togetherness.
I could go on and on and on...
Maybe you can let me know from your experiences/friends' experiences, what you think that LDR, or the prospect/discussion of it, can reveal of both people in a partnership......
The first one is, to view it as a way to see or to prove how strong the relationship is. People of this school believe that through a chapter of long distance relationship, the solidity of the relationship will surface. If the relationship breaks apart during the process (more to 'process' later), then it may be interpreted as not standing the test of time. If the relationship is sustained for a long period, the relationship may be seen as successful and as a 'true thing'
The second school which has, according to my knowledge, far less followers, are people who think that a relationship that is strong, in the first place would not let a long distance relationship happen. Reason is, that if the relationship is a strong and serious one, why would one let other matters which led to the long distance relationship, precede in the first place? Especially romantics think, that nothing should come in the way of being physically together at one geographical location.
The above mentioned are extremes. However if we take a look at our own experiences with LDR (Long Distance Relationships), as well as other people's experiences, we will see that more often than less, one of the two above reasons are being used in arguments. These arguments can be anything from controlled calm discussions regarding the 'next steps', up to heated debates about the possibly upcoming LDR.
I cannot advocate for solely one of the above approaches. The reason is, because different people have different principles and expectations of relationship in general. There actually are peoples or couples who can endure the toll that an LDR takes on the relationship. Or even better said, there are couples in an LDR, who are not negatively impacted by the LDR. While for others this may seem totally unreasonable and beyond social conventions, for some it is as good as the close-proximity relation. These people live their lives independently in different locations, while maintaining communication from heart-to-heart or maybe even on a telepathic level. On the other hand, there are people who cannot bear the thought of even parting for one week. For these people, anxiety takes over, loneliness, as soon as the partner gets to far away. Physical apartness here almost equals (involuntarily) emotional distance.
What I can say for sure is, that a Long Distance Relationship, the prospect of, and even discussion about, reveals cubicmeters of the material of a relationship. Or differently put, it reveals important characters of each person in the relationship. Different than when analysing an indivual's character, a discussion about Long Distance Relationships exposes both sides in relation to each other. It becomes apparent how much each partner endures and can live solitary. In how far the two people are emotionally dependent on another. What each expects from the other partner - expectation in regards to sacrificing for the sake of togetherness.
Back to the earlier mentioned point on 'process'. If there is a mention or thought of an LDR being a 'process', I believe it is a very good start altogether. Being regarded as 'process', indicates that the LDR is working/being driven towards the goal, which unanimously would be togetherness.
I could go on and on and on...
Maybe you can let me know from your experiences/friends' experiences, what you think that LDR, or the prospect/discussion of it, can reveal of both people in a partnership......
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Perfect
What is perfection?
Is it .....
a white blank sheet of paper?
meticulously cut hair which never falls out of line?
a day where everything runs exactly on command whenever you wish according to whatever you want?
a perfectly baked cake, so nicely decorated that nobody dares to have a piece of it?
a face make'd'-up so flawless that it shines like stainless steel?
the latest gadget on the market, in your pocket now?
or....
a yellowish stained sheet of lined paper, with your memories scribbled on it?
semi-messy hair after running on the beach and rolling in the sand?
a public holiday where you sleep through until noon, and out of nowhere get surprised by your boyfriend who is suddenly standing in front of your house to say 'good morning'?
a failed pie, tasting somewhat weird that although your parents try to savour it, your little brother just can't help it and bursts out into laughter?
a few freckles around the cheekbone, which accentuates a beautiful smile?
a call from your best friend, on your cell which looks like you bought it from a flea market?
judge for yourself!
perfection is...
when this and that doesn't bother you
when you feel it is the best to you, regardless of what the world thinks
when it just captivates you
when you can easily say 'it's perfect', without needing to further consider the reasoning
when this or this is just in a different league, incomparable to what's out there on the market
when you can sense the sweetness so clearly
when you don't longer wish that it were more 'like this', 'than that', etc.
when the imperfect items come together so perfectly at the right time, amount, and way, that it becomes perfect.
:D
Is it .....
a white blank sheet of paper?
meticulously cut hair which never falls out of line?
a day where everything runs exactly on command whenever you wish according to whatever you want?
a perfectly baked cake, so nicely decorated that nobody dares to have a piece of it?
a face make'd'-up so flawless that it shines like stainless steel?
the latest gadget on the market, in your pocket now?
or....
a yellowish stained sheet of lined paper, with your memories scribbled on it?
semi-messy hair after running on the beach and rolling in the sand?
a public holiday where you sleep through until noon, and out of nowhere get surprised by your boyfriend who is suddenly standing in front of your house to say 'good morning'?
a failed pie, tasting somewhat weird that although your parents try to savour it, your little brother just can't help it and bursts out into laughter?
a few freckles around the cheekbone, which accentuates a beautiful smile?
a call from your best friend, on your cell which looks like you bought it from a flea market?
judge for yourself!
perfection is...
when this and that doesn't bother you
when you feel it is the best to you, regardless of what the world thinks
when it just captivates you
when you can easily say 'it's perfect', without needing to further consider the reasoning
when this or this is just in a different league, incomparable to what's out there on the market
when you can sense the sweetness so clearly
when you don't longer wish that it were more 'like this', 'than that', etc.
when the imperfect items come together so perfectly at the right time, amount, and way, that it becomes perfect.
:D
Gemuetlichkeit
A german word which to my knowing, is non-existant in other languages...an undescribeable state related to a feeling of peace, pleasure and contentment. Here a shot at trying to concretize it:
1. Cuddling on a couch with your loved one, keeping your toes under a plaid blanket to keep warm, and watching a once-10-years-ago-box office...the popcorn box likely to fall over the edge of the couch each time you lean against him/her
2. Coming home soaken wet after a soccer game during heavy rain,...taking off those heavy wet shoes, sitting on the carpet sipping a large mug of hot chocolate
3. Delving into a great book, in the corner of a train cabin.... a family with little children sitting next and opposite of you...crying and giggling at times... it doesn't disturb you at all, because whatever you're reading is so enthralling
4. During holiday season, go to the mall with your best friend... walking from store to store.... it may be one shopping bag or none you're carrying at the end of the day...but it doesn't matter because it is so 'gemuetlich' being with that friend and sharing stories
5. Chatting for 3 hours. Having your mum beside you watching tv, also chatting with you apparently.... it requires double-focus... but still, it is such a nice feeling...
1. Cuddling on a couch with your loved one, keeping your toes under a plaid blanket to keep warm, and watching a once-10-years-ago-box office...the popcorn box likely to fall over the edge of the couch each time you lean against him/her
2. Coming home soaken wet after a soccer game during heavy rain,...taking off those heavy wet shoes, sitting on the carpet sipping a large mug of hot chocolate
3. Delving into a great book, in the corner of a train cabin.... a family with little children sitting next and opposite of you...crying and giggling at times... it doesn't disturb you at all, because whatever you're reading is so enthralling
4. During holiday season, go to the mall with your best friend... walking from store to store.... it may be one shopping bag or none you're carrying at the end of the day...but it doesn't matter because it is so 'gemuetlich' being with that friend and sharing stories
5. Chatting for 3 hours. Having your mum beside you watching tv, also chatting with you apparently.... it requires double-focus... but still, it is such a nice feeling...
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